Are you Willing?

A brilliant woman, who I won’t mention is my therapist, boiled down almost every struggle I’ve ever had in my life to one short question – Are you willing?

Oh no.  What?

Turns out I’ve been wanting a lot of stuff – relationships, career, dog, children, neatly-delivered outcomes, etc… but I haven’t necessarily been all that willing.  You see, there is a very subtle, yet enormously powerful shift from wanting to willing.  So much so, that I had quite a difficult time enunciating out loud, that I was in fact willing to have my long list of desires.

Why you ask?

Well, first of all, try it.  Because it will become readily apparent.  Let’s say you want your own business (or whatever your particular heart’s desire).  You want it.  Easy enough.  I want my own business.  A successful one, damn it!  Now, try saying it with “willing” instead.  Out loud.  Maybe even in front of someone.  Yikes.  I am willing to have my own business.  Can you do it?

I couldn’t.  I felt like I was standing on the edge of a super-high Olympic high dive.  For the first time.  Oh, and I was four.  I was not budging.  Nope, nadda.  The words were not coming out of my mouth.

I couldn’t say “willing” because I wasn’t sure I was.  Apparently I paid enough attention in school to be acutely aware, although perhaps subconsciously, of the difference between wanting and willing.  And my physical body was not about to say something it couldn’t follow up on.

Willing meant it was on me.  That I alone was responsible for getting what I wanted.  And that maybe I was also responsible for not having gotten what I wanted.  Eeewh.

It also meant that I was open to receiving all that I wanted.  Which was perhaps a little scarier than the responsibility bit.  I mean – am I really worthy of receiving everything I want?  (See two blogs ago for help; and yes, you are).

Yes I might prefer a magic lamp, a genie, and three solid wishes, or wants.  Because that would involve no work, no real commitment, and certainly no risk on my part.  Easy breezy, yes please.  Unfortunately, or perhaps, fortunately, that’s not exactly the way the world works.

As scary as it was, realizing that this minor word substitution held the key to a life time of dreams fulfilled was exhilarating.  And did I mention scary?

Being willing comes down to a conscious choice.  You know what you want, you know where you stand today, and you can consciously choose to move in the direction of the thing you want.  You can.  If you’re willing.  It doesn’t mean that you’re going to like everything that needs doing in order to accomplish your dream, but because the joy and fulfillment of your dream drive your efforts, you are willing.  It doesn’t mean you won’t be scared or at times doubtful, but because you have committed to a thing, you are willing to walk through your fear and do it anyway.

Be willing is extremely powerful.  It places you firmly in the driver’s seat of your life.  Which is where you’ve been all along, only maybe you hadn’t noticed.

P.S. I was going to go with a high-dive picture, but this kid was too funny to resist:).

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