Not Getting Enough Credit?

It’s funny how every day life really gives you all the fuel for personal growth you could EVER ask for.  There’s really no need to travel around the world, live in a monastery, sweat in a sweat lodge.  It’s all right here for the taking.  Yay. 

Case in point.  I was watching Oprah the other day – because I can on my incredible TV-recording DVR device – and I noticed some irritation.  Oprah had one of her “Ah-Ha” moments right there on the show.  And I was so damn annoyed.

Interesting.  So after a few minutes of self-coaching, focusing, and some silence, I had it.  My irritation was about not getting credit for knowing what Oprah had only just discovered.  More specifically, how come she gets a show and I don’t?!!  Whaaahh!

I mean, if I’m more brilliant than Oprah (work with me), what gives?

What I uncovered is that a lot of the time I’m waiting for other people to give me credit for my talents, accomplishments, and sheer brilliance.  Uh-hem.  Basically, I’m waiting for someone to give me a pat on the head and say, “good job Carrie”.  Before I go out and get my own show.

Which sucks.

And also why I don’t have a show. 

Seriously, the difference between Oprah and most people is that most people don’t give themselves credit. 

For example – - your co-worker with less experience applies for and gets a management position.  Now she’s your boss.  The guy you went to high school with (who wasn’t all that bright) owns his own company – you remain a slave to the man.

There’s this whole, “who does she think she is?!” thing going on.  And we know it’s bubbling underneath when we start to feel irritated or indignant, or even resentful.  But the real question isn’t, who does she think she is, it’s – who do I think I am?  Who am I to apply for that management position, I’m not fully qualified!?  Or – of course I’m not running my own company yet, I don’t have enough experience.  And on and on.  Essentially we’re not giving ourselves credit for our abilities or capabilities, and we might even be waiting for someone else to do it for us.

This business of owning your abilities, trusting your capabilities, and giving yourself credit to say, launch your own personal talk show, is tricky.  It’s tricky because there is no real, tangible yardstick except the one you create in your head.  And what’s really funny is that everyone’s yardstick is completely different and totally arbitrary.  So you might consider taking a look under the hood to examine your totally random set of standards which determine whether or not you measure up.  Out of thin air.

Because I’ve found that most of us are using criteria that Jesus would have a hard time meeting.  I’m serious.  These crazy criteria set us up to fall short of impossible standards, which then becomes a reason to beat ourselves up, which only ever keeps us from knowing our true value. It’s a vicious cycle where we never feel good enough and so we end up looking outside ourselves for validation, approval, and credit.  Because as tough as the outside world can be, it’s often a kinder place than the judge in our heads.

Once you examine and hopefully begin to lower the laughable standards in your head, you might just discover the real truth.  That you are as valuable and worthy as you decide you are.  That’s it.  No one else can give you credit or determine your worth.  It’s not their job, and it’s not your job to determine theirs.

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